My name is Monica Vaklinova. I suffered from anxiety and depression and I know how you can ease them. Ask Me Anything.

May 19, 2017

I first had anxiety and after that I developed depression. It all started 6 years ago. I used so many techniques - some of them worked, some not. I hope I can help you somehow with my story and my ways to deal with this conditions. So Ask Me Anything.

Update (May 19, 12:45PM EDT):

MonicaVaklinova says:

This AMA will end at 13:30 EDT

Reason you believe this topic would be a great choice for an AMA:
I think it would be great, because nowadays many people suffer from exactly this two conditions.

Reason you believe you will be a great host to speak on this topic:
I hope to be a great host, because I've been there and I know how it feels, I'm not someone who've omly heard about it.

Have you ever hosted an AMA before?:

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How would you rate your life with this issue and over coming the issue?

May 26, 12:55AM EDT0

Might this be genetics as well?

May 23, 8:26PM EDT0

Do you know anyone with similar issues?

May 20, 11:14AM EDT0

It's all about brain chemistry, do you agree?

May 19, 12:19PM EDT0

Yes, I found depression came, because I had a deficiency of omega 3 acids and magnezium.

May 19, 12:21PM EDT0

You mentioned that you did guided meditation in some of your other answers. What meditations worked the best for you?

May 19, 12:04PM EDT0

I was using some from Youtube. I love these which my mind is taken to a full relaxation, to a place I dream about.

May 19, 12:06PM EDT0

Were you ever addicted to drugs, and do you think this did or would have made it worse?

May 19, 8:57AM EDT1

I'm only smoking ciggaretes, never did drugs, not even weed. I don't think cigaretes are my problem, but serious drugs could be a premise. It surely affect the person and it would make things worse.

May 19, 9:33AM EDT3

Definitely, and make the life of everyone around worse too.

May 19, 12:16PM EDT0

What were your symptoms for anxiety?

May 19, 1:31AM EDT0

I had several panic attacks and after that started chest pains, insomnia, high heart rate and it was like many symptoms at once, so I went to a few doctors and they diagnosed me with anxiety.

May 19, 5:21AM EDT0
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Did you play sports as a child?

May 18, 5:53PM EDT1

Yes, I played a several sports. Then I stopped and now I'm doing exercises every day, it helps a lot.

May 18, 6:07PM EDT1
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Are you married?

May 18, 11:05AM EDT1

No, I have a serious relationship from six years and I'm living with my boyfriend, but we are not married yet. 

May 18, 3:51PM EDT1

Thanks for your answer.

May 19, 12:15PM EDT0

What is the single most useful thought you've had about this subject?

May 18, 8:24AM EDT0

The onw thing I was thinking over and over again was that I have to change, to start doing something for myself, to learn to love myself.

May 18, 9:20AM EDT0

Do you have children? If so do they also suffer from this?

May 17, 11:56PM EDT0

No, I don't have children. But my mother had it when she was in my age and my father developed it a few yesrs ago too.

May 18, 1:39AM EDT0

How did you know as a child what you were experiencing?

May 17, 11:13PM EDT0

I wasn't a child when anxiety came. I was 21 years old. I had several panic attacks and many symptomes came after that, so I went to several doctors and they gave me the diagnose. 

May 18, 1:37AM EDT1
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Do your solutions involve diet and exercise?

May 17, 9:31PM EDT0

Yes, changes in the diet and exercise helped me a lot. Food can definitely be a medicine. Movement too. I move a lot - exercises, walking, hiking, dancing, yoga.

May 18, 1:36AM EDT1
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Are you more depressed at certain times of the year?

May 17, 6:12PM EDT1

Before I had these periods in the fall. Now I don't have any sighns of depression and anxiety. 

May 18, 1:31AM EDT1
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What was the hardest day ever during your bad period?

May 17, 4:41PM EDT0

Hmm there were many bad days, but maybe when I had the depression, because I was slowly losing my mind, I had suicidal thoughts and that was the scariest thing.

May 18, 1:30AM EDT1
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How did you know you had anxiety? Some children can just be  little worriers. When  did it cross over that line for you?

May 17, 3:24PM EDT0

I had several panic attacks and after them chest pains started and I went to several doctors and they diagnosed me with anxiety.

May 17, 3:29PM EDT0

What do you think is the main cause of these problems?

May 17, 2:41PM EDT0

My fear of losing people and the fear of change. I got so overwhelmed at certain point, so I had to make a big change.

May 17, 2:53PM EDT1
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Have others in your family suffered from depression or anxiety?

May 17, 1:51PM EDT1

Yes, my mother had too, when she was in my years and my father developed it a few years ago.

May 17, 2:17PM EDT2
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Do you take medicine for your anxiety and depression? If so what kind

May 17, 12:47PM EDT0

No hard medicine for a long time. Only magnezium and omega 3 acids, which I take from time to time. 

May 17, 1:15PM EDT0

Do you feel that anxiety and depression are two symptoms of the same illness?

May 17, 12:33PM EDT0

Yes, although I know people who have only the one condition. I have deficiency of magnezium and omega 3 acids. This deficiensy is a purpose for both conditions. 

May 17, 1:14PM EDT0

Would it help to move to a new place to begin new associations?

May 17, 11:31AM EDT1

Well I just move out from home and it was the key to my success, so if you think your environment is the problem then yes, you should move. You have to live the life of your dreams, you should change the way you see things, the way you think, to start loving yourself. 

May 17, 11:43AM EDT1

Great answer and with you on environmental change. It helps and makes a difference!

May 19, 12:06PM EDT0

I know a lot of people that suffer like this and they say medicine doesn't work. So how did you deal with the anxiety and depression?

May 17, 10:44AM EDT0

Well medicine helped in the beggining for a while, but it'n not a permanent option for me. It's all in the head, I found the reason and change my mind, my vision, I learned to love myself. Plus I found I had a deficiency of magnesium and omega 3 acids. Turmeric helps a lot with fighting depression too.

May 17, 11:16AM EDT0

Did you focus on improving yourself, or improving your interactions with others?

May 17, 9:39AM EDT1

I improved myself, my vision, the way I am thinking. :-) 

May 17, 10:43AM EDT1
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How old are you now?

May 17, 6:55AM EDT0

I'm 26 years old now. :-) 

May 17, 8:48AM EDT1
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Do you believe that depression and anxiety are a personality trait that must be changed?

May 17, 6:03AM EDT0

They certainly are personality traits, who have to be changed for your own good. I didn't change, I accepted it, just a little change of my vision, of the way I'm thinking. I was really self-judgy, now I learn to love and accept myself.

May 17, 6:23AM EDT0

What has worked best for you over the years for depression?

May 17, 5:38AM EDT0

Change in the diet, exercises, omega 3 acids and turmeric.

May 17, 6:20AM EDT0

Do you still struggle with depression and anxiety now?

May 17, 4:43AM EDT0

No, no more. I sometimes feel tension, but it's nothing scary like anxiety and depression.

May 17, 6:19AM EDT0

What gives you anxiety?

May 17, 3:08AM EDT1

I can't really understand your question. As a symptoms it gives me chest pains, high heart rate and many physical pains. It was an alarm from my body that something wasn't right in my life.

May 17, 6:18AM EDT1
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Are you in therapy, or do you talk to anyone to manage your mental health?

May 17, 1:45AM EDT0

Now I don't go to therapy, because I'm feeling pretty good with myself, but I used to go for a while. Now my friends and my boyfriend are all the therapy I need, they are always here for me and I'm learning to share everything with them, even though it's hard for me, because I'm a person, who doesn't want to bother them.

May 17, 2:29AM EDT0

What do you wish someone had said to you while you were suffering?

May 17, 1:08AM EDT0

Most people were telling me that this is a "modern" disease, that there's nothing wrong with me, that I'm just overreacting. I wish people were more understanable. "You will be okay, I'm going to help you" would be perfect. :-) 

May 17, 1:44AM EDT0

Did you become a stronger person to overcome the problems?

May 17, 12:42AM EDT0

Abaolutely. I feel stronger than ever now. I took my life in my hands. I learned so many things and I learned how to love myself, so I feel thankful that I had this conditions, because they pushed me to make the needed changes in my life.

May 17, 1:40AM EDT0

Do you believe diet and exercise are a good remedy for depression and anxiety?

May 17, 12:05AM EDT0

Definitely. A good diet without sugar ans sweets and exercises helped me a lot. Food and movement can be a medicine for this conditions.

May 17, 1:38AM EDT0

Do you have a non stress job?

May 16, 11:06PM EDT0

No, my job is stressful. I work in an airport. I'm on a leading position and my working shifts are different, which is a lot of stress. All of the doctors I talked to said I have to change my job, but in my country is not so easy, but now I'm working on changing it.

May 17, 1:34AM EDT1
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Do you feel extreme pity towards others with those issues?

May 16, 8:18PM EDT0

No, no pity, but empathy and understanding.

May 17, 1:30AM EDT0

How do you get yourself out of a depression?

May 16, 7:39PM EDT1

Omega 3 and turmeric helped me  a lot, but it was a long process of thinking, of trying to change my mind to see the good in every situatuion, that's why I was doing a lot of vizualization and I think it really helped me. I decided to live my life without fear, I changed everything which was holding me back.

May 17, 1:26AM EDT1

YOLO applies here. It's your life, live life. Good on you!

May 19, 12:08PM EDT0

What is your life like now? Are you still depressed ? Or have bouts of depression ?

May 16, 7:34PM EDT0

No anxiety and depression for me. Sometimes when something bad happens I feel a little tense, nothing scary. 

May 17, 1:23AM EDT0

Do you get panic attacks? If so what triggers them.

May 16, 7:25PM EDT0

I had panic attacks at the beggining. Hard situations triggered them. When my father or mother was in a hospital, when my little brother wasn't feeling well for a long time. I was and maybe still am a little bit of control freak, so when everything came to a situation I can't control I was having panic attacks.

May 17, 1:20AM EDT0

Do people who meet you now know you had depression and anxiety?

May 16, 4:44PM EDT0

Most of them know. I'm not ashamed of this, it's the biggest victory in my life to overcome this conditions. I think of them as a powerful lesson, they thaught me to so many things, they thaught me to love myself.

May 17, 1:17AM EDT0

Do you think your solutions will work for everyone?

May 16, 4:29PM EDT0

I strongly belive they will. My opinion is that every person, who suffers from anxiety and depression can. A lot if power and motivation is needed, but if you find the problem in your life and make the change, learn to love yourself everything's possible. :-) 

May 17, 1:15AM EDT0

How do you know if a young child suffers from depression?

May 16, 2:31PM EDT0

I don't know, because I wasn't a child. I was moody, always thinking about bad things, my mind wss playing dark scenarios linked to my closest people. I was feeling insecure and overwhelmed. I had a constant headache. I was scared and crying all the time without any visible reason. The night was creeped me out, I couldn't sleep. I was feeling so many things and at the end if the day I was feeling numb and empty. It strange. I was slowly losing my mind.

May 16, 3:07PM EDT0

At what age were you diagnosed with depression?

May 16, 2:20PM EDT0

The anxiety came when I was 21 and depression came when I was 24

May 16, 3:03PM EDT0

Could you have succeeded at getting better without the help of others?

May 16, 10:44AM EDT0

I don't know. I was hardly talking to my loved ones about my conditions just because I didn't wanted to bother them, but even though I was feeling their faith and thoughts. I was really self-motivated, I did this alone, but I couldn't handle it if they were not with me on this one.

May 16, 11:26AM EDT0

How long have you suffered from this illness?

May 16, 10:40AM EDT0

I got it 6 years ago and I healed 6 months earlier. I am now free of this conditions. :-) 

May 16, 11:24AM EDT0

Have you had to make yourself get out of bed?

May 16, 10:39AM EDT0

Yes, when I had my depression. It was hard doing anything. I hated mornings, because I knew there ia going to be another day full of darkness and suicidal thoughts.

May 16, 11:23AM EDT0

Did you ever consider committing suicide before you got better?

May 16, 7:52AM EDT1

Yes, when I had my depression. It was the most scariest thing I experiensed. I got shivers even thinking of this now. 

May 16, 11:22AM EDT1

Glad you didn't or this conversation wouldn't be happening. You're a gift to the world, don't lose sight of that.

May 19, 12:09PM EDT0

What hobbies do you have? And does it help you keep your mind off of the depression and anxiety?

May 16, 6:54AM EDT0

Yes, I have. I love writing, having long walks and exercising. They definitely help me with these conditions.

May 16, 11:20AM EDT0

Do you believe anxiety and depression have physical causes?

May 16, 6:30AM EDT0

I think physical and mental health are connected! But I think there are some physical proceses which can affect anxiety and depression. I found I have a deficiensy of magnesium and omega 3.

May 16, 6:45AM EDT0

How important is self-motivation at overcoming these problems?

May 16, 6:10AM EDT0

The most important! Self-love, self-respect, self-motivation! When you want something so badly, you are going to achieve it! Everything's possible!

May 16, 6:38AM EDT0

Do you think everyone has hope at overcoming depression and anxiety?

May 16, 6:04AM EDT0

Yes, I strongly believe in that. It's hard and long process, but if I can do it, so everyone can do it. People have to understand how to love themselves and aometimes to put their needs in first place. Change the job, move out, go away from a toxic relationship - everything's possible!

May 16, 6:35AM EDT0

Is your family supportive of your efforts?

May 16, 6:02AM EDT0

They hardly show any emotions, but they were really worried about me in the hardest times. :-) 

May 16, 6:31AM EDT0

What technics have worked best for you with anxiety?

May 16, 5:41AM EDT0

The first thing is movement - exercises, yoga, dancing, walking, hiking. I also made a change in my diet - I cut sweets (although I'm dying for anything sweet). Guided meditation and visualization are perferc for silence the wild mind. 

May 16, 5:47AM EDT0

Do you have any animals?

May 16, 5:38AM EDT1

No, not in the last 10 years, although I really want to have one, but my landlord doesn't allow for now. 

May 16, 5:41AM EDT1
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Do others in your family suffer from depression and anxiety?

May 16, 5:34AM EDT0

Yes, my mother had it in my age and my father developed it few years ago. 

May 16, 5:39AM EDT0

Do you believe therapy is worthwhile for everyone?

May 16, 5:27AM EDT0

I think everyone should try therapy, but most of all I believe in self love and acceptance, this is the best therapy we need :-) 

May 16, 5:38AM EDT0

Have you had therapy to help you get this under control?

May 16, 4:59AM EDT0

Yes, I tried with pills and it helps a lot, but I always wanted to change the problem, so I was working in this direction, because I don't want to depend on medication.

May 16, 5:04AM EDT0

Is there anything anyone could have done to help get you going again?"

May 16, 4:24AM EDT0

No, I don't think so. It is my character, it's the way I am. I started thinking for this conditions as something good, they were valuable lessons, this was alarm for me that something isn't right and I need change. And when I made the changes I found my inner peace. So I was the only one who could have helped me. :-) 

May 16, 4:31AM EDT0

What life event do you think triggered this anxiety and depression? 

May 16, 4:11AM EDT0

My anxiety was triggered by the fact my father went on a hospital. He was very sick. That was the exact moment, I remember the fear I experienced. Depression came after a problems in my family, my parents were fighting all the time, I was trying to protect my little brother, I was feeling overwhelmed. I went on a big trip around Europe and my mind was always at home, worried for all of them. My family was falling apart and I couldn't handle it and that's when depression paid me a visit. :-) 

May 16, 4:25AM EDT0

What are the worst things about depression and anxiety to you?

May 16, 4:05AM EDT0

Anxiety was scary, but I somehow get used to it. It was like so many disaeses were in my body, they were coming all at once. Depression was way more alwful and scary - suicidal thought, constant fear. The feeling was it's like I was losing my mind and thar was the most terrible thing.

May 16, 4:19AM EDT0

Did you ever try yoga to help with the anxiety?

May 16, 4:01AM EDT0

Yes, I've tried. It really helps, distracts you from negative thoughts. Have you tried? :-) 

May 16, 4:15AM EDT0

How severe were your depression and anxiety before you got better?

May 16, 3:32AM EDT0

I was with constant anxiety, si I kinda get used to it. But the depression was another job - it was severe, in it's peak I had serious suicidal thoughts, I totally lost my mind. It was very dark period. And then I found way to ease it.

May 16, 3:37AM EDT0

What would you recommend to someone who has seemingly tried everything?

May 16, 3:06AM EDT0

Hmm well, I will tell them to find the reason inside them and to make a change, because something obviously doesn't work well. I knew this was my body alarming me that something isn't right. I figured out that I'm not happy living with my family constantly screaming and fighting, so I move out. I wasn't happy with my job, so I started searching for a new job. Now I'm finally in peace with myself, I started loving myself. I think this is the best remedy for this conditions.

May 16, 3:34AM EDT0

How successful have your remedies been at easing depression and anxiety?

May 16, 2:35AM EDT0

The medications weren't effective. They were easing it for a period of time. The best remedies personally for me are food, exercise, journaling, spending quality time with my loved ones. To prevent this conditions you have to find the reason, what triggers them, what doesn't satisfy you.

May 16, 2:48AM EDT0

Did you ever feel extreme guilt for no reason?

May 16, 1:48AM EDT0

Most of the time I was experiencing guilt, guilt is part of the character. I didn't wanted to bother my closest people with my condition, I was feeling guilty when they were putting their lifes on hold, because of me and mine condition.

May 16, 2:16AM EDT1

What are the least effective ways to treat depression and anxiety in your opinion?

May 16, 1:37AM EDT0

The one thing which didn't helped me at all was essential oils. One doctor was trying to heal me with special salts, it didn't work also. 

May 16, 2:13AM EDT1
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How did having anxiety and depression affect your life as a child or teenager?

May 16, 1:36AM EDT0

I was 21 years old when my anxiety started, but it did affected me - on my social life mainly, because I wasn't feeling comfortable surrounded by people, loud places was affected me also.

May 16, 2:11AM EDT0

Was it easy to learn to think about yourself as a person that is not depressed?

May 16, 12:24AM EDT0

Hey, hello!

I never thought of myself as a person who isn't depressed, I was complately aware I was depressed. I accepted it and tried to think about the many positive things in my life. It happens, but it takes a lot of time and practice. 

May 16, 12:32AM EDT0

Where you diagnosed at 6 with anxiety? Or when you were older ?

May 16, 12:17AM EDT0

No, I was diagnosed 6 yesrs ago, when I was 21 yesrs old. :-) 

May 16, 12:21AM EDT1

I stand corrected :)

May 19, 12:27PM EDT0

What do you do to calm yourself down when having anxiety?

May 15, 11:12PM EDT0

Hey, hello!

I'm using a lot of techniques, but when anxiety comes first I try to think of someting else, of doing something - dancing, walking, doing exercises. I make myself a tea and I start imagine a calm place - a forest, and I try thinking about all the details. I imagine nice calming lights, the sound of the birds singing. A change in the diet helps a lot too. I was doing and a lot of guided meditation.

May 15, 11:36PM EDT0

I also did journaling. My journal became my best friend. 

May 15, 11:38PM EDT0

What is the single most destructive illogical thought you remember having?

May 15, 10:28PM EDT0

It all started with my father going to a hospital, I started fearing from losing people, because a few years ago I lost tragically two of my closest friends.

The second most destructive thought was when I had my depression - I just wanted all to end, to end my life, because I didn't feel myself anymore, I was loosing my mind, but it was a thought and it was my hardest moment of my journey.

May 15, 11:24PM EDT0

Do you think that relationships have a large effect on one's well-being?

May 15, 10:16PM EDT0

Deffinitely! My relationship with my family has always been hard and when my parents had problems between them it affected me a lot, all I wanted was to run from them. For me personally my family and my friends are a very special part of my life and all the connection I have with them affect me. 

May 15, 11:20PM EDT0

Did having anxiety and depression keep you from having friends?

May 15, 10:15PM EDT0

Hey, hello!

Well when I had my depression I was trying to isolate myself from the people, even from my friends and family, but my friends actually helped me a lot. But it definitely was hard to be around people even those who know me very well.

May 15, 11:17PM EDT0

Have you been to a lot of doctors?

May 15, 9:54PM EDT0


Yes, I have been to so many doctors. I even lied in hospital two times, because they couldn't find the reason for my condition and they wanted to to be sure that it wasn't an immune disease.

May 15, 11:14PM EDT0

What else have you tried to change about yourself besides those two problems?

May 15, 9:53PM EDT0

Hey, hello! 

I wanted to change my whole life completely - my home, my job, my body. I knew the ansewer is somewhere there. :-) 

May 15, 11:12PM EDT0